Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
