And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize