can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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