her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
