I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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