Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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