ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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