is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
