I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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