Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
