My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You were trust falling into bushes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
