You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
