I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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