unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
