i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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