if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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