I am puke
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
