He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
