porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
