Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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