Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
