When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
