she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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