I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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