Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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