I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
