So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
