We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
