he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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