And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No subtext here. People are naked.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
