I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
