I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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