I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
