Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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