omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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