he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
