are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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