My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
