weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
