I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
