I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just pee around me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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