ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
