anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
