Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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