Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
