His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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