I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
