If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
