You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
