At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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