careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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